Forest City 3 Chapter 4 -Final Preperation-

    I felt really bad all throughout the next few days, Monty and I continued to work on our project, we both talked about how he has been feeling lately and what we can do to make things better for him. I hadn't realized that Monty had been feeling left out recently and it only just occurred to me that he was, when he told me a few days ago. I'm trying to figure out how to include him more, I just don't know what to do. Maybe we can go to the library more often, but we already are spending time after school working on the project.
    Maybe this will all go away before (or after) winter break. I sat in Mr. Jackal's room for a few minutes, I had made it here before everyone else, so I decided to tap away on my phone. My dad had texted me a few more times, but not as much as a few days ago.
    I glanced around the room looking for some poster to read glancing at a Periodic Table of Elements poster on the far left wall, a pigeon sat in the desk right under it. I looked at the back of the class a poster read, "Science is Fun," it was covering a large crack in the wall of the school. I wondered what the story behind it was.
    I glanced down at the table, all of the science room tables were black, mainly because the "wooden" tables turned a strange purple color one time around 6 years ago, I heard. C.L. was scratched in the black table and other fun things were as well like: "School sucks," "Jackal burn in-
    "Today, class, we will be reviewing for the final this year, as our school has officially stopped all standardized testing," Jackal began, then whispered, "mainly because our budget was cut in half this year."
    I glanced back down at the table below a heart was engraved in the wood and had the initials of C.L. and B.O., though C.L. was all scratched out, I have a feeling I know who these initials belonged to.
    Jackal began passing around packets for our upcoming final, aka the death test. I do prefer the finals over the standardized testing though, less stress about the time and more stress about remembering everything we learned that year. I vaguely remember everything in most of my classes though, which is a problem because I want to pass the first semester and go onto the next semester with good grades. Maybe, just maybe, dad will appreciate me.
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    "Oh Macadamia! These will just spice up the kitchen so well!" Hazel began as I walked into the front door, she grabbed the carnations from my hands and rushed to the kitchen.
    "Wait! Hazel! Those are for an experiment in one of my classes!" I called after her.
    "Where do you want me to set them dear?" Hazel replied.
    "In the windowsill... I guess," I called back, the windowsill was an indoor one, mainly because the winter would destroy any plants that lived out there, the windowsill in my room is an exterior one, but I never use it for anything besides... well... a plank to invite a certain boy over without our guardians knowing, but now, that isn't possible. I hobbled upstairs to my room, making sure not to hit my head on the ceiling above, something I have mastered not doing.
    Last week, I had tried to renovate the room, I added a colorful knitted rug that, my grandma Harvey knitted for me when I was little. I had brought it over one time when dad was bringing me some things to "spice up" my room, in a box full of musty old knick knacks and some of Clove's old string lights, which I had hung up on the wall above my bed, it helped with highlighting the exposed brick of the building, I had hung a few pictures of Cobalt, Monty, Toni, and I on the wall along with some of my family members. I missed them, but not as much as I thought I would. I always imagined that I would go off to college and get a degree in... something... then go into tremendous amounts of student loan debt, and move back to the farm where I will live the rest of my sad pitiful life.
    I flopped onto my bed letting every hair on my body flatten. I glanced at my phone as it buzzed for the millionth time today.
    Unread messages: 21
    Voicemail: 18
    Tweet Tweet: 4
    I begrudgingly unlocked my phone and read a few of the messages my dad had sent, a few of the messages were from other people like Monty, who was asking if he could come over to start the project and Cobalt, who had taken a selfie of himself near a tagged stop sign. I sighed, he can never stay out of trouble, I checked the messages from my dad, who mom was also in the chat.
    Dad: 7:59 "Mac, are you coming home this winter break."
    Dad: 8:00 "Mac?"
    Dad: 8:23 "Answer me kid!"
    Dad: 10:52 "I know it's almost lunchtime for you, come on, answer me!"
    Dad: 11:36 "I'm left on read! Seriously!? I know you have your phone on you!"
    Dad: 1:19 "Kid! Answer your phone! I have been calling you all day!"
    -Mom has joined the conversation-
    Mom: 1:43 "Mac, please answer your father. You know how he gets."
    Dad: 3:29 "School's out, you better answer your texts or so help me I am calling Hazel!"
    Dad: 3:32 "Why are you like this?"
    -Mac has joined the conversation-
    Mac: 3:53 "WHAT!?"
    I flipped my phone over and turned over and laid on my back, I stared at my ceiling fan and put some earbuds in, "The only brand you can trust," was their slogan, of course they weren't the best earbuds, they always cut out audio when you touch the earbuds ever so slightly and they never fit in my ears, so I'm opted to just not wear them after a while and just blast my music in the apartment, Hazel never seemed to mind. My phone buzzed a couple of times again, I glanced over and ignored it, probably wasn't anything important.
    Monty: 4:01 "Mac, seriously, we need to start this project, please call me when you get the chance."

Comments

  1. Some constructive plot criticism here:
    (note, I haven't finished the chapter, so I'll probably comment again after I finish, I've read like the first two paragraphs thus far)
    The story has a habit of leaving out some crucial information at points, especially lately. So for example, in the finale of volume 2, forgetting about the out of order chapters for a moment because that's forgivable, we don't actually see Bonnie kiss Cobalt. We see the aftermath, but we do not see the moment or how it occured or what Mac was thinking during it. Because of this, it's difficult to understand why Mac, despite blushing frequently at Cobalt throughout the story, opts to break up with him. Sure, they'll (probably) get back together, but as is it's just difficult to understand the choice because it goes directly against everything we've seen from Mac's character up to this point. If we understood more of Mac's thinking during the kiss, we could understand why they made the decision.
    Then, in what was probably supposed to be the epilogue of volume 2, Mac exposits a lot about Cobalt's character--- about how relationships are painful to him because of his family history, and of how Cobalt has trouble forming relationships in the first place. But we don't really *see* this in the actual story. Mac tells us this is how it is, but it's not shown to us. I guess it could be implied from the fact that Cobalt has two friends and is rather aggressive, but even still, that doesn't really go into how relationships and getting attached are actively painful for him. It all feels a little dumped on the reader.
    Then, in this chapter, we're told all of a sudden that Monty has been feeling left out due to Cobalt and Mac always being together. But once again, this hasn't been shown. Although Cobalt and Mac have some alone time, Monty is typically there tagging along and actively participating in conversation. While it's believable that something changed in the interrim between the second and third novel, it's still a little dumped on us.
    I think this all results from telling instead of showing. Showing this could really flesh out the characters and add to their intrigue and believability. At least, that's what I think.

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